Amor Fati: Episode 8 - Three Times Over
by Elyse Harrison
Previous episodes
'Whoa,’ Clara muttered.
A sharp ache pulsed behind her eyes. Her vision swam, flecks of black dancing across her gaze. She pressed her fingers to her temples and took several deep breaths, waiting for the dizziness to subside.
Gradually, the world settled back into focus.
The first thing she saw was the familiar timber bench beneath her. The second was her watch.
Two o'clock.
Her breath caught.
Slowly, she looked around. The Science building stood ahead of her exactly as it had before. Students drifted between classes, blissfully unaware that reality had just been rewound.
Across the lawn, the glass doors of the Science building swung open. James emerged. He was flanked by the same two friends as before, carrying the same textbook tucked beneath one arm. The sight sent a strange chill through Clara.
Everything was happening exactly as it had the first time.
‘Oh my God,’ she whispered. Her pulse quickened. ‘It actually worked.’ She sat forward on the bench and exhaled slowly. ‘Okay,’ she muttered to herself. ‘Keep it together. Stick to the plan. Go over there, officially end things with James, avoid the kiss, reclaim my future.’
The words sounded reassuring enough in her head. Unfortunately, this was James, and James had never been simple.
Pushing herself to her feet, Clara crossed the lawn.
As before, James walked with his head bent over a textbook, completely absorbed in whatever he was reading. This time, however, Clara noticed a subtle difference. His friends were still chatting beside him, yet he seemed barely aware of their presence.
The change was small, but it unsettled her. She couldn't decide whether it was a good sign or a bad one. After a moment, she chose optimism.
Good, Clara thought. Maybe this time things will go according to plan.
Clara quickened her pace. Just as she was about to call his name, another voice rang out from somewhere behind him.
‘James!’
James turned toward the voice at exactly the same moment he stepped forward.
Directly into Clara.
‘Oh!’
The impact knocked both of them off balance. They tumbled to the footpath in a tangled heap. Clara hit the ground with a painful thud. A heartbeat later, James landed above her, catching himself on his elbows.
For a moment neither of them moved. They simply stared at one another.
‘Clara,’ James breathed. His expression held the same astonishment she'd seen before.
‘Ouch,’ was all Clara managed.
James laughed.
It was that smile. The same smile that had once convinced Clara to skip classes, climb fences, and believe in forever.
Before she could react, he leaned forward. His lips met hers. Clara's eyes widened and she shoved him away.
James rolled onto the concrete beside her.
‘Argh!’ Clara groaned, sitting upright and dragging a hand through her hair. ‘It happened again.’
‘What happened again?’ James asked.
Clara climbed to her feet. ‘You don't understand.’
‘Then explain it.’
‘James, things can't go back to the way they were.’
The hurt that flashed across his face almost derailed her resolve. Almost.
‘We can't go back to the way we were.’
Without waiting for a response, Clara spun on her heel and marched away.
The bench awaited her across the lawn.
She dropped onto it and pulled the hourglass from her satchel. ‘Time for take three,’ she murmured. Taking a steadying breath, she flipped the hourglass. The sand shifted.
Darkness swallowed her whole.
About the Author: Elyse Harrison
Elyse Harrison is an environmental professional and writer based in Geelong. Her writing explores the connections between people, animals, history and the natural world, often weaving together themes of hope, grief, belonging, love, and environmental stewardship. Drawing inspiration from nature, philosophy, and the enduring relationships between humans and animals, she writes poetry and fiction that seeks to find meaning in the fleeting moments that shape our lives.
https://www.facebook.com/ElyseHarrisonWriter/
