Amor Fati: Episode 7 - Tempting Fate
by Elyse Harrison
Previous episodes
That was the last time she saw James. That was, until today. As far as Clara was aware, after he had left her at the tree, he had hopped on his motorbike and simply rode away.
‘How is this possible?!’
Clara stared at the wedding photograph clasped firmly in her hands. ‘We never got married.’ She thought for a moment. ‘But a year from today, we do… It just doesn’t make sense. This could never happen, could it? It can’t happen. I–I won’t let it!’
She picked herself up from the floor of her mother’s bedroom. For a moment Clara stared at the picture she left lying in front of her. Her eyes drifted to the hourglass positioned a little off to the side. Her lips set into a line of determination. She picked up the hourglass and strode out of her mother’s room, gathered her belongings from the kitchen and left the house, bound for Winston University.
Once at the university car park, Clara began retracing her steps to the spot where she had collided with James. The encounter had taken place on the path connecting the Arts and Science domains. She doubted he would be studying or teaching anything related to the arts. Back when they were together, James had been interested in mechanics, so perhaps, Clara reasoned, he was involved in engineering. With that thought in mind, she set off along the path towards the Science building.
The Science building was positioned behind a great expanse of lawn. The grass was still moistened by the morning dew, and it glinted with the afternoon sun. Brick paths weaved across its surface and wooden benches and picnic tables were scattered about. As Clara entered the courtyard, she could see James emerging from the building opposite. He was chatting with two other men; the same two he was with earlier that day and carried a thick textbook under one arm. She sat down on the bench closest to her and began preparing what she would say to him. The seat faced the way she had come and so her back was towards James.
She peered over her shoulder and saw that he was now alone. She glanced at her watch.
The time read two o’clock.
‘Okay, just do it,’ she exhaled.
Clara stood up and strode across the lawn. James’s head was buried in an engineering textbook, but as he heard her footsteps approach, he looked up. When she was close enough, she started to speak.
‘James, I–’
Before she could finish her sentence, James dropped his textbook and cupped her face in his hands, pulling her close.
He kissed her.
It was as if no time had passed between them. Clara pulled away from his grasp and stumbled back slightly.
‘James!’ she exclaimed. ‘What the hell was that?’ She lowered her voice as she touched her fingers to her lips. ‘Things can’t go back to the way they were.’
‘Clara… I’m sorry,’ he fumbled as his eyes flicked down the length of her body before settling back on her face. ‘I don’t know what came over me. I suddenly felt like I’d gone back in time.’
Clara stared at him, her heart pounding painfully against her ribs. Part of her wanted to be angry. Another part wanted to demand answers. Yet beneath both emotions was something far more dangerous: the familiar warmth that had stirred the moment he touched her.
Thirteen years.
Thirteen years of unanswered questions, endless days replaying the past, and wondering why he’d left without a word.
‘You don’t get to do that,’ she said quietly.
‘I know.’
‘You disappeared.’
James looked away.
‘You vanished from my life and now kiss me like nothing happened.’
The muscles in his jaw tightened. For a moment he seemed unable to find the words.
‘Nothing about this feels like thirteen years to me,’ he admitted. ‘When I look at you, it feels like I’m eighteen again.’
The confession hit her with unexpected force because... she felt it too.
Despite the years between them, the anger and everything she had told herself since that fateful day at the tree, a part of her still missed him.
And that frightened her more than the kiss.
‘I won’t go through this again,’ she whispered, determinedly, thinking back to the wedding photograph discarded on the floor of her mother’s old bedroom.
‘What are you–’
Clara didn’t let him finish. She spun around and ran towards the bench on the other side of the lawn. She could hear him chase after her. Before he got to her, she pulled the hourglass from her bag. The handwritten message from her mother swayed with the wind:
To turn around fate.
‘Okay, here goes nothing.’ She tipped the hourglass upside down.
Everything went black.
About the Author: Elyse Harrison
Elyse Harrison is an environmental professional and writer based in Geelong. Her writing explores the connections between people, animals, history and the natural world, often weaving together themes of hope, grief, belonging, love, and environmental stewardship. Drawing inspiration from nature, philosophy, and the enduring relationships between humans and animals, she writes poetry and fiction that seeks to find meaning in the fleeting moments that shape our lives.
https://www.facebook.com/ElyseHarrisonWriter/
