Amor Fati: Episode 3 - A Quiet Happiness

by Elyse Harrison
Previous Episodes

Clara smiled to herself, trying to match the one that James had given her that day. It contained so much hope, trust and life; things that she hadn't witnessed in a long time.

She walked into the kitchen and tossed her backpack and keys onto the countertop. Her mind couldn't help but wander further into the past…

It was from that day on, the day her father had died, the day that James gave her that smile, that he and Clara were inseparable. While the pair barely saw each other at school due to varying class schedules, each evening, without fail, James would arrive at Clara’s porch and knock on the front door. Each evening, she would answer the door and close it to the sounds of her mother’s quiet sobbing. It was an unspoken and mutual understanding that neither would say a word until they got to the tree in the park.

Most evenings, the pair would sit in the rays of the setting sun at the base of the eucalyptus tree. Clara would study her textbooks, and James would casually read the ones she was finished with. Other times, they would talk about their families and discuss what they wanted out of life.

James lived with his father in a small unit a few streets away from Clara’s. His father, a truck-driver, was regularly away interstate, so James was often left to his own devices. He never spoke about his mother, which didn’t bother Clara too much. However, she had the impression that she walked out on James and his father quite a while ago.

While Clara knew she wanted to go to university to study history, James wasn’t sure what he wanted to do. He was, however, adamant he wasn’t going to turn out like his father.

On the weekends, James would take Clara to various places. Sometimes it was the beach, sometimes the movies. Other times it would be a festival, a concert or any other event that arrived in town. Wherever they went, Clara would often pause momentarily to take in her surroundings and the moment she was in. She had never contemplated that at some point in her life, or at least in the near future, that she would be the object of a boy’s affection. It wasn’t that she didn’t think she deserved to find love, but it wasn’t something that was her primary focus. For a while she attained a vision of her life that had her living it out rather independently. Afterall, without love, you can’t suffer heartbreak. However, despite this initial outlook, she welcomed the sudden twist of events, even though they stemmed from devastating circumstances.

She, as she assumed all people did, even if they were afraid to admit it, had always held a hope deep within her heart that, perhaps if she were lucky enough, she would find someone that would love her, for her. Each time she thought this, a swelling of happiness, the kind that comes only from the soul, would surge into her chest, inevitably causing her to smile.

‘What are you thinking about?’ James would always ask.

Clara, snapping out of her contented thoughts, would look up at his face, a smile matching hers, emerging across it.

He was thinking the same thing.

About the Author: Elyse Harrison

Elyse Harrison is an environmental professional and writer based in Geelong. Her writing explores the connections between people, animals, history and the natural world, often weaving together themes of hope, grief, belonging, love, and environmental stewardship. Drawing inspiration from nature, philosophy, and the enduring relationships between humans and animals, she writes poetry and fiction that seeks to find meaning in the fleeting moments that shape our lives.

https://www.facebook.com/ElyseHarrisonWriter/