Amor Fati: Episode 6 - The Broken Promise
Thirteen years ago…
The dance had not quite concluded when James guided Clara outside into the school grounds. She glanced up into the clear night sky, sparkles sprinkled across its surface. For a moment, she admired its infiniteness and how it witnessed the lives of individuals all around the world. This notion ignited a feeling of warmth inside her. She realised that out of every moment the sky could be witnessing at that instant, she didn’t want to be anywhere else but here.
James reached for her hand and intertwined his fingers with hers. ‘I thought we could go for a walk. You know… to our place.’
Without saying anything more, the pair began to gradually make their way to the tree in the park.
At the tree, James released Clara’s hands from his and took a few steps away from her. He started to pace nervously, then he took a deep breath and faced Clara directly, his eyes meeting hers.
‘Clara,’ he began. ‘It was at this very spot that we first met. It wasn’t under very good circumstances, but from here something extremely special began.’ He paused and took another deep breath. ‘You are nothing short of amazing. You are intelligent, funny, confident and self-assured. You know who you are and who you want to be.’ He cleared his throat. ‘The truth is you probably don’t need me. Well, definitely not as much as I need you.’ He paused again. ‘But if you say yes to the question I’m about to ask you, I promise that I’ll always want you and I’ll never stop needing you. I’ll take you away from here, and we’ll live out your dreams together.’
He knelt down on one knee, producing a ring from his pocket, the damp grass soaking into his black suit pants. ‘So, will you marry me?’
Clara had always followed her head when making decisions, but tonight, it was her heart that sung the loudest. So, she said:
‘Yes.’
James stood up and stepped in close toward Clara. He slipped the ring on her finger and smiled his classic smile.
‘Wait for me, okay,’ he whispered.
‘What do you mean?’ Clara queried.
‘We’ll leave tonight. Wait for me on your porch. I just need to pick up the car and a few other things.’
‘I don’t understand.’
‘Let’s go. Let’s leave this place. You and me, together. What reasons do you have to stay here?’ His eyes searched hers. ‘So, will you wait for me?’
Clara thought for a moment. She thought of her distraught mother and the house that no longer felt like a home. Were these reasons to stay?
‘I’ll wait,’ Clara finally responded.
‘Okay, I’ll meet you in an hour,’ James yelled as he began to run off towards the car.
Clara made her way home.
Once there, she sat on the steps and waited. The air was cold and had a nasty chill to it, but she didn’t go inside for a jacket. In fact, Clara didn’t want to go inside at all. She wanted to leave all of it behind her and start afresh.
And so, she waited for James to come.
When the hour had passed and he still hadn’t returned, she waited for another hour.
As she waited, and waited, she felt her hope diminish and her love slowly slip away, until finally she felt something inside her fracture. She ran her hands through her hair and placed the strands behind her ears. She inhaled deeply and let out a gasped, ‘Okay,’ as she comprehended that James wouldn’t be coming.
Clara stood up and pulled herself together, trying to ignore the cracks she felt rupturing across her heart. She unlocked the door and stepped inside to the sounds of her mother’s faint weeping. Shutting the door behind her, she left her prospective future in the past.
About the Author: Elyse Harrison
Elyse Harrison is an environmental professional and writer based in Geelong. Her writing explores the connections between people, animals, history and the natural world, often weaving together themes of hope, grief, belonging, love, and environmental stewardship. Drawing inspiration from nature, philosophy, and the enduring relationships between humans and animals, she writes poetry and fiction that seeks to find meaning in the fleeting moments that shape our lives.
https://www.facebook.com/ElyseHarrisonWriter/
