About This Thing
Ep 3 - About This Thing - Season Three
By Steve Gray
Sally stared at the final slide of Robert’s presentation on the website, which featured a pixelated diagram of what looked like a cross between a satellite dish and a psychic espresso machine. According to Robert, it was a cutting-edge customer tracking platform. According to the tiny, hand-drawn map at the bottom of the slide, Tom next door already had one up and running.
Leaving her assistant, Soren, strictly in charge of ‘Not setting the shop on fire,’ Sally wandered next door to investigate this mysterious ‘Sensorial thing’ a bit further.
Tom’s shop was quiet, except for a low hum that sounded like a cat purring through a megaphone. Tom himself was standing behind the counter, staring intensely into a sleek, glowing tablet.
Aha!’ Tom said, not looking up. ‘Sally. Age undisclosed, morning coffee preference: dangerously strong flat white, current emotional state: somewhat sceptical.
Sally paused, her hand hovering over a display of cookies. ‘Did you just read my mind, or have you been taking creepy notes?’
Tom laughed, finally looking up and gesturing proudly to the device. ‘The Sensorial system! Robert got to your place then? He’s been randomly dropping into a few shops down the street, pitching it like a cybernetic Tupperware salesman.’
Sally smiled and drawled slowly, ‘Yep. I’m sort of interested. Mostly because Robert promised it would stop me from calling regular customers 'buddy' when I forget their names.’
‘Oh, it does way more than that,’ Tom said, full of praise. ‘I’ve had it for a fortnight, and it’s surprisingly cost-effective. Watch this.’ He tapped the screen as a man in a trench coat walked past the window. ‘The system instantly recalls the customer's name, cross-references their face, and predicts what they might want to order based on local weather and past hesitation patterns. It thinks Trench Coat Guy wants a meat pie because it’s drizzling.’
‘Incredible,’ Sally quizzed. ‘What happens if he just wants to hide from the rain?’
‘Then the system might politely suggest a side of hot chips,’ Tom shrugged. ‘But the real magic is in the premium add-ons. I bought the 'Stalker Lite' extension pack. It gives me insights into how the person is doing and, to some degree, where they’ve been.’
Sally blinked. ‘Where they’ve been? Tom, that sounds less like customer service and more like a low-budget spy agency.’
‘I guess It’s all about context,’ Tom insisted, tapping a flashing green icon. ‘For instance, Mrs Higgins just walked into the bakery down the road. The system tells me her walking pace is three percent slower than usual, suggesting she either bought heavy groceries or her sciatica is flaring up. It also logs that she visited the hardware store first. So, when she eventually comes in here, I don’t just say 'Hello.' I say, 'Good afternoon, Mrs Higgins, are you here for a bran muffin to boost your energy?’
‘And how does Mrs Higgins react to you tracking her spatial coordinates?’ Sally asked, raising an eyebrow.
‘She thinks I’m a wizard, I guess,’ Tom said proudly. ‘Or a stalker. Either way, she buys the muffin. It prompts me to mention new items I have in stock, and it gently reminds people of our restaurant service in the evening, which honestly, too many people forget exists. Yesterday it invited me to upsell a gluten-free scone to a man who only came in to ask for directions to the toilet.’
Sally watched the tablet screen flash with data streams, colored charts, and a small avatar of Tom wearing a crown. It was undeniably efficient, if slightly terrifying.
‘And Soren?’ Tom asked, leaning over the counter. ‘How is he handling things while you’re out?’
Sally checked her watch. It’s been ten minutes. He’s probably reorganising the Egyptian manuscripts alphabetically.’
‘Well, if you get the Sensorial thing,’ Tom smiled, ‘You can install the Employee Focus extension. It uses thermal imaging to detect if your staff are actually working or just looking at memes.
Sally chuckled, turning back toward the door. ‘Let’s stick to regular customer tracking first. I don’t think my heart could take knowing what Soren does when I’m not looking.’
She walked back to her shop, ready to do some more research. The future of retail had arrived, and it knew exactly what everyone wanted for lunch, whether they liked it or not.
Some online searching showed that there were lots of positive comments about the Sensorial system, but others thought it went too far, and others likened it to the early days of Ai where people were troubled by so many factors that actually didn’t eventuate into anything.
She soon realised that it was more than a customer advisory service of some kind but a more complete marketing system, it could handle your social media without your time-consuming input and made things specifically tailored to each customer. Now that was special.
Chloe from the other bookshop dropped in, the pair discussed this ‘new system’ and how it might be useful. Sally looked to see if there was a multi-site discount… Well maybe.
There were a range of questions. Chlose suggested, do it and see if their money-back guarantee works. Sally liked that, it gave her some assurance. Plus, she was able to pay in cryptocurrency, which she had accumulated a bit of. Okay, she said, ‘Let’s give it a go!’
No two days were the same in Darley Street; people come, and people go. Today was more research than anything else, but the future looked bright.
Steve writes with intrigue and intent. His poetry and stories can take abstract turns, and his 'Odd Angry Writes' on his website are sure to turn heads with his aggressive approach to topics.
A background in Art and Design, as well as teaching, often gives his written pieces a unique creative perspective.
A bunch of e-books under his belt and some honourable mentions in the Geelong Writers Group and in Geelong Cereal puts his work in good standing.
