I LIVED OFF EASEY STREET - CHAPTER FOUR

By Steve Gray

Hold on! Have you read the previous chapters?

It was a usual kind of a day, things were ticking over and in the door a lady wandered in, professionally presented and with a nice smile. Her face was familiar to me but I wasn’t sure where from. She introduced herself, Janey Underwood, from Fletchley and Green. She was Cait’s boss, we had met at Cait’s funeral. Then everything fell into place. I wasn’t expecting to be reminded of Cait’s passing but there you go.

She remembered Cait had told her about the work we do. It turned out she wanted to create some things for their office space, a new reception desk on the floor Cait worked on. So there I was chatting about a desk while trying to come to terms with Cait’s situation and how I felt. I was a bit mixed up. Thankfully Glenda was there and she was able to help out. My head had turned to mush, Glenda had heard my chats a hundred times and noticed I was struggling.

I said to Janey, I was out of sorts and then we had a chat about how the team back at her office were handling things. I didn’t want to have the discussion but in the end it seemed to be useful, here were other people who had to cope with Cait’s passing. It also took her a bit by surprise and then some tears started.

We finally got back to the desk and how she wanted it to look. Glenda asked about the practical elements and I asked about the space and how it would fit, we then moved on to the aesthetic feel they were after. In the end I took Damon with me to have a look at the space and explore some options.

It was strange standing in the office space where Cait worked. I saw some familiar faces and a few even came over to chat. I did well to hold my composure, Damon took photos and recorded various measurements. We had to figure out how to create something that could fit into the lift or come up the access stairs.

Janey was a gem and a breeze to work with. We created a design that was retro 50’s space age, think George Jetson styling. Aaron did an amazing job and we were on hand to see it installed, a darn nice piece.

I don’t think they were worried at all about the price, I think they would have paid whatever we said.

That was the start to a range of projects with Fletchley and Green. Their office in Sydney saw photos of the new desk and ordered a similar one, we did the same colours but altered the design a little, they loved it. Then we had F&G clients starting to call on us, that was all good. Sydney, Adelaide PERTH! And of course Melbourne. Jobs were coming out of the woodwork as they say.

Damon's drafting skill on the computer came in handy. We could create a laser cut file for a signwriter, or a metal cutter and have all the details sorted. It was useful for the simpler files, anything complex I would suggest he leave it to the experts, unless we were quiet.

Aaron's guys liked getting the trips interstate to install, well for a while they did, then they got a bit annoyed with all the travel. Things settled down a bit after a while after we figured out how to get interstate companies to handle the files and produce the goods.

F&G were to open a new office in Hobart, boy did we have some ideas for that job, three floors of sleek design, all in the fifties retro look. Simply amazing. 

One thing for sure was the work load meant my mind was not on Cait being gone. I did take advice from friends and family and got to see a counsellor to chat about things. I carefully suggested that to Chris, but he said he was a bit too old school for any of that. I planted the seed and after a really long while he finally took my advice. Jean thanked me for that, she had a friend of a friend who was studying counselling so she was sorted.

Back to me, at first it felt strange chatting about Cait, Gina the counsellor was really lovely and eased me into some degree of greater understanding about everything, then discussed the notion of me moving on and getting into another relationship. I went home a bit numb that day for some reason. 

I hadn’t really thought about moving on. But here we are. It was like someone had flipped a switch, on the tram and down Smith street, I was seeing a whole bunch of people who could readily be prospects. Now that was strange.

At one of the openings a few weeks later at Reenies gallery, there were the usual bunch of collectors and then family and friends of the artist. I picked up a red wine and heard a voice say ‘ooh a man of sophistication… red wine…’ I didn’t miss a blink and humorously said ‘Shiraz thanks very much, single grape, no blends, picked from the north facing block facing the full central Victorian summer sun. Such a delight.’

I smiled, extended my hand to shake hands and said ‘I’m Todd, and you?’ The handshake was firm, dry and considered. ‘I’m Kari. Do you know the Artist?’ Well that was the start of a delightful evening, chatting and sipping, looking at the works and having a fine time.

Damon came in a bit later with a friend of his, introductions all round. Kari asked where we worked, we both pointed diagonally across the room, she looked puzzled. I had to say, well really you have to go around the corner but it’s right there.

Trev-rod walked in and said hi, more introductions, I said they work next door and pointed at another wall. Kari giggled, then said ‘Ah I get this now, pointy point, there I work, well as for me I’m over thereish…’ struggling to get her bearings, she pointed in the other direction and up.

I said ‘Ah lets see the second floor of some building over thereish?’ She said ‘Close, third floor of a solicitors office over thereish at the top end of the city.’ I was a bit tipsy by now and said ‘Ah Dennis Denuto’s office?’ She got my reference to the film ‘The Castle.‘ and giggled, then said ‘Yep and the bloody photocopier still gets jammed!’.

Another introduction, Kari introduced me to the Artist, a family friend. I could see the guy was finding it hard to handle the crowd, he was nervous and looking awkward. I said ‘Well done on the exhibition, breathe!’ He looked me in the eye and said ‘Oh gees is it that obvious!’ I smiled and said, “You’ll be fine! BREATHE.’ he took a big breath and settled a little.

Well, Kari and I swapped numbers and two days later I called, she was either delighted or surprised, I’m not sure which. A bit of small talk and then I invited her to join me for tacos at a freaky little taco shop a few streets from her work. She had to cancel at the last minute, no decent reason given, then a few days later she rang me and rescheduled.

I must admit I did find it hard to connect at first, Gina suggested it might be, I was afraid this girl might leave me in the same way Cait did, by accident. There was some discussion about that and it set me at ease.

We dated a fair bit in the first six months. I was fascinated by her work and interests, she was a newbie to art galleries and so on. I took her to see a range of exhibitions around town, Melbourne always seemed to have a new gallery opening or an old one closing. 

I was able to show her the intricacies and fickleness of art and galleries. I figured out fairly early on that she could only handle looking at five exhibitions in one day. Me, I was used to looking at more like ten to fifteen. Kari liked the coffee breaks and dinner afterwards.

Of course there were other gallery openings, we caught up at Reenies, Trev-rod and a few others in the Easey street area. Kari liked the free drinks idea. I figured she liked a drink but I also figured it was not my place to make mention of having too much… One of her friends pointed that out when we were out to dinner on a double date. Kari had gone to ‘powder her nose,’ her friend asked me about her drinking habit and had I noticed? ‘Yep’ I said. She then said, ‘Another friend had pointed out that Kari drank too much and was soon on the outer.’

We had a fine time and Kari did devour a few too many drinks, but handled things okay. I got her home to her place in one piece, a few giggles and so forth. Getting up the front steps was a challenge, then the key in the door and all that. Then she said she would be fine. I put her keys on the side table in the hallway and then her housemate Geri came out to see what was up. We had met a number of times before so all that was fine. She said she would take it from there and thanked me for dropping her off.

As I went out the door Geri followed me and suggested we swap phone numbers. ‘Sure’ I said, and didn’t think much of it. The next day Geri sent me a text, was it okay to call me? We chatted, she was concerned about Kari’s drinking. She was having too much and it was causing problems.

It turned out Kari didn’t like being told that her drinking was a problem and any suggestion of cutting back was met with deathly silence or a snide remark. I mentioned her other friend making a comment while we were out the other night.

I did my best to not think too much about the issue, but my mind kept coming back to it. I posed a hypothetical to Glenda, she mentioned a friend who was in a similar predicament. Couldn't get their partner to stop or even moderate their drinking. 

I made a decision to cut back on my time with Kari, although I really liked her and wanted to spend more time. The cutting back didn’t last long, she was on the phone inviting me to catch up after work. I was heading interstate for work so that got me off the hook, but I then had a moment of weakness and said perhaps next week?

I was annoyed with myself for giving in like that, oh well stuff happens. I then did some research online, how to mention a drinking problem to a friend. There were some standard responses, but I knew that some people don’t like logic and others wanted to just enjoy the numbness of drinking, then there are others blocking out issues that have occurred in their life.

We went to dinner, I had a soft drink, she had a glass of wine and two cocktails. I then shifted in my seat and said ‘Isn’t alcohol a fascinating thing…’ and then waited for her response. She smiled and said ‘Oh yeah it’s wonderful, it blocks out so much and I like the way I feel, not so much afterwards mind you.’ That was followed by a giggle, and then her whole look went serious.

She then said ‘Is this the end… is this it, are you dropping me…’ I was a bit startled, I went for a different tack, and said ‘That’s an interesting comment, where did that come from?’ Kari pointed out her last boyfriend tried to raise the issue of her drinking and left her high and dry. I asked ‘Is that what you wanted?’ She came back after a deep breath and said, ‘No I didn’t want that, I wanted to carry on the relationship but he obviously found my drinking was too much to handle.’ 

I sat back in my chair and I said, ‘Well we all have choices, it all depends on what you want and what you have to deal with to get what you want.’ She had been looking down into her glass and then looked straight up at me, locking eye contact. She said, ‘I want you.’

I kept eye contact and said, ‘Let’s imagine that alcohol is not the problem, but a temporary answer. And now we can move forward, to find what the real problem is. Yeah?’ 

I nodded slowly three times, it’s a technique psyches can use to good effect. She nodded slowly in agreement. I then went silent, she developed a more serious look on her face and blurted out, ‘My work is stressful, my supervisor is a prick, I was abused a bit as a teenager by a relative and big chunks of life in between have been too challenging to mention.’ There was silence after that. She ate what was left on her plate.

I quietly added, ‘Do you want to alter how you respond to all that?’ She nodded in the affirmative. Then said ‘I’m not going to no shrink…’ I added, ‘That’s fine, that's often the case, but at least you have noted that you want things to change. Is that correct?’

I dropped her off at her place and said on the way, ‘How about we discuss this further, because I don’t want to lose you and you want things to be better, yeah?’ She agreed.

I rang my counsellor Gina and told her I wanted to have an over the phone chat, she had time later in the morning so I did just that. I told her where things were at with Kari and she said, ‘Some alcoholics can stop and not touch another drop, others have this thing where they re-offend and then say they are ashamed of themselves, others respond well to the AA ten step method. Any thoughts on which way to go?’

I said, ‘Well I have been told that she arcs up if it gets mentioned but she handled it well with me, I think I approached it differently. So I will say she will probably re-offend but will probably start out with good intentions. I think AA might be a bit tricky to navigate, so I would start with figuring out what she wants and go from there.’ Gina said, ‘Excellent choice! Let me know how that goes.

I was on the phone to Kari that afternoon, she sounded a bit sheepish. I said ‘About the discussion we had, are you up for the challenge?’ She took a deep breath and said ‘Oh yeah why not. Things can’t get any worse.’ I sensed she might be leading into some drawn out excuse and wanting to see if I would cave in or some such. Nope I was here for the long haul.

I simply replied with ‘Okay, I think a plan needs to be created somehow, think about that and let’s chat.’ She said sure, and I said, ‘I look forward to hearing what you come up with.’

I then started some of my own research. Techniques and approaches to using talk therapy to overcome addictions. Some interesting thoughts there one that stood out was ‘Address the underlying issue and not the result of the issue.’ Therefore don’t mention the drinking but the things that caused the drinking, unless she brings up the drinking and hopefully she mentions cutting back or stopping completely.

One thing Gina said was keep things light and breezy, weave your language in and out and not make a big thing of issues that might arise. Be the listener and use your communication to elicit responses.

I was very used to chatting to people and eliciting responses to clarify things, that was my job basically, sales, yeah I guess so, have a chat, do some work, collect the money at the end.